Tip 1: How to avoid conflict with parents
Tip 1: How to avoid conflict with parents
It often happens that with the closest people we haveThere is a situation of seemingly complete misunderstanding. All this leads to quarrels, conflicts, stresses, greatly complicating communication and life in general. The perennial problem of fathers and children in fact is not so insoluble, if you approach it with a certain degree of reasonableness and tranquility.
Instructions
1
If a family scandal is brewing, for a startexhale, calm down and maximally cleanse your mind of the possible desire to respond aggressively to your parents' attacks. This will help focus on the real problem, not on the emotions that this problem caused.
2
Patiently listen to all the claims in your address. Do not interrupt and begin to prove their truth, let alone do it on high tones. Control yourself, think over every word. Imagine that you are at work or at the university, and your task is to solve the conflict in your favor with the most skill and with the least losses.
3
Objectively evaluate the essence of the conflict. Where you were wrong, where your parents may have been wrong. Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes, because with relatives there is no place for pride.
4
Speak calmly and let know that you care about how relations with parents will be built, how important it is for you, and you want peace. Be honest with yourself and your family.
5
Do not close yourselves in yourself and do notTake offense. Resentment has the property to settle in the human soul and grow like a tropical plant. Be open, contact, parents will feel your positive attitude, and you will see how the degree of their boiling gradually decreases.
6
The best way to understand another person is to stand onits place. Imagine what thoughts your parents might have about a conflict situation, how they see it, perhaps they do not know something or have incorrect information.
7
Take into account the emotional state of your loved ones. If they came tired of work, they had a bad day, pity them, do not be selfish.
8
In case you can not reach an agreement,Do not prove your truth with foam at the mouth. Remember that in any case you and your parents need to find a compromise. This is an important word, indicating your ability to perform adult actions and decisions.
9
As a rule, such a balanced approach toconflicts ends with an important family conversation, and many causes that cause misunderstanding are clarified. Jointly discuss them and be sure to draw conclusions for the future. And remember: it is with peace in the family that peace begins all over the world. Be frugal.
Tip 2: How to avoid conflict with your child
The problem of "fathers and children" has not been solved so far. We rarely think about why there is a conflict between parents and children, and most importantly how to extinguish the flame of discord. To take a good relationship is hindered by a trifle, which over the years can cause complete misunderstanding of native people.
You will need
- patience
- savvy
- hardness in oneself
Instructions
1
Every time there is a conflict with child, think about the motivated behavior of the child. Even if you do not notice the reason, it does not mean that it does not exist. Very often the child is not satisfied with psychological needs, he lacks your attention, love and affection.
2
What to do to avoid conflict? Psychologists advise to be more attentive toto kid. For example, you are asked to buy another toy. Saying simply "no", you thereby give the child to understand that you are indifferent to his desires. Try to shift attention to another object, to distract from the thought of buying. Or imagine the following situation: the child draws on the wallpaper. Instead of scolding, give him a paper and teach him to draw some animal.
3
A widespread conflict situation ishysterics of the child. It is desirable to do everything to prevent such a strong surge of negative emotions. To do this, you need to talk more often with the baby about his desires, mood, fears, behavior and responsibilities.
4
Correctly criticize the child. Assess only the behavior: "You misbehaved." When analyzing flights, try to mitigate criticism: "You got a deuce today. This is certainly bad, but I know that tomorrow you will try and get a good assessment. "
Tip 3: How to avoid a quarrel with your parents
Quarreling parents and children - the topic is truly inexhaustible. They occurred earlier, happen now, will happen and when the current children themselves become mums and dads. Simply because different generations have different views on everything. But at the same time, parents are firmly convinced that they know best what their children need, and children (especially those who have grown up) naturally have the opposite point of view.
Instructions
1
First of all, remember: you are dealing with the closest people. Yes, sometimes parents are bothersome, unfair, very unceremonious (from the point of view of the child, naturally). But this is Mom and Dad. Therefore, a tone that is quite relevant in communicating with peers, friends, who sometimes too allow themselves to be superfluous, is unacceptable here.
2
Restrain yourself, answer politely, even if everything is boiling inside and you really want to snarl. Immediately the main cause of quarrels will disappear - rudeness (already from the point of view of parents).
3
Another reason is the child's indifference, laziness,unwillingness to help. Here is a typical example: a tired mother returns from work and sees that the child did not fulfill the instructions: garbage is not taken out, the dishes are not washed. Naturally, she is irritated, makes claims. Word by word, and a quarrel breaks out. Of course, the child will have excuses: lessons at school, additional classes. He is also a man, he is also tired. But is it really so difficult to find a few minutes to help the mother around the house? This effort would fully pay off. And my mother would be happy, and a quarrel would not happen.
4
In the above described case in response to the claims of the motherit would be worthwhile not to snap, but to say: "Sorry, I just did not have time. We were asked such a complicated topic! ". For any normal mother, studying a child is very important, she would understand.
5
Well and how to be in cases when children are already adults, moreover, they themselves become parents, and the father and mother still treat them ashelpless babies? They call several times a day, give out advice, or even categorical instructions. You can understand the annoyance of children. There are only two ways out. Or learn to skip everything "by the ears" - calmly listen, thank, reassure that you take into account their advice and opinion. Do the same as you think is necessary. Or politely, but firmly, let parents know that you no longer need such "dense" care.
Tip 4: How to resolve the conflict in the family
Conflicts in the family are not uncommon, and if correctbehave, they can not destroy your marriage. It will not always be possible and always agree and make concessions, in this case one can become a hostage to a spouse and lose one's personality. It is better to learn how to properly resolve conflicts in the family.
To begin with, you need to understand what caused theconflict. Sometimes the reason lies in a bad mood, fatigue, irritation or even an attempt to attract the attention of the spouse. In such cases, a quarrel can begin literally from scratch. The best solution is to tackle the true cause. Relax, cheer yourself up or talk with your partner about lack of attention. During a conflict, do not go over to individuals and watch your statements. The quarrel will end, and the words to take back will not work. Therefore, when you feel that you are starting to lose control, suggest a five-minute pause. Leave the room, breathe the fresh air, drink the water, and when you calm down - go back and continue the conversation.
Ways to resolve the conflict
Sometimes you can make concessions. If you feel that you are ready to give up the victory, it is better to declare a truce. But it should not be that one person always concedes. Such a tactic only creates the illusion of well-being, but the tension accumulates. And when the cup of patience of the inferior will overflow, unresolved conflicts can destroy the marriage. In some cases, you can compromise. For example, if you want to buy grapes, and the husband - pears, you can buy both. But this tactic does not work in all cases. Sometimes the spouses come to a decision "neither to you, nor to me" when no one gets what they want. Then the offense appears on each side. The best way to solve the problem is cooperation. You have to stand in the opponent's place and understand his wishes. Together, we can find a solution that can resolve the conflict peacefully. There should be no screaming or arguing, one puts forward proposals and they are discussed. Looking through all the options, you can find a worthy solution that will suit each side.If nothing helps
When the spouses go to a dead end and nobody wantsmake concessions, you need to use the services of a specialist. Address to the psychotherapist who can look at the situation impartially, listen to both sides and help to come to a worthy decision. In order to avoid fatal conflicts, because of which the family is being destroyed, it is necessary to discuss serious issues in advance. Before the wedding, you need to know the person, determine your compatibility, how much your views coincide in those or other issues. After all, if one spouse wants many children and another does not want them at all, it is almost impossible to find a solution that satisfies both sides. Someone will have to go against their wishes or the family will collapse.Tip 5: How to avoid conflict with relatives
Building relationships with relatives is more difficult thanwith friends, colleagues and acquaintances. To ordinary human communications, family ties, traditions are mixed. In your power to avoid conflicts with relatives. You just need to show respect and attention to loved ones.
Instructions
1
To reduce the possibility of conflict with relatives,It is important to know which basic motives are driven by all members of the family. Without mutual understanding, it is impossible to build strong relationships. Talk to your family more, spend time together. Otherwise, you will become completely strangers, and then collisions can not be avoided.
2
Try not to run counter to the interestsfamilies. Consider other people's needs and consider the feelings of relatives. When planning to do something, first think about how your activity will affect your relatives. If the question concerns them, be sure to consult with relatives. Making decisions together is the best strategy for families who want to maintain good, strong relationships.
3
Monitor your negative emotions. It happens that a person at work and before friends keeps negative feelings under control, and before relatives does not consider it necessary to save face and pours on them everything that has accumulated in the soul for the day. Do not break your family, they do not deserve it.
4
Be polite and kind to your family members. Some people show a keen interest and skill in communication to colleagues and friends, and do not consider establishing good relations with relatives. Close, too, you need to do compliments, gifts and provide other signs of attention, do not forget about it.
5
Do not let yourself start with a half-turn ifin your family a conflict is brewing. Your relatives are the same people. They may have their problems at work, with health or just a bad mood. In such difficult moments someone must maintain composure to prevent the situation from escalating into conflict. Therefore it is important to be patient and treat the possible whims of relatives more leniently.
6
Take into account the individual characteristics of membersyour family. For example, older people need to show respect. Be more patient with such relatives. Remember that they have a certain life experience and consider it necessary to share wisdom with you. Do not explain to them that thanks to new technologies you have access to almost any information that your generation has made a big step forward in development in comparison with the past. Just do not argue and thank the elders for advice and help.
7
To avoid conflict situations, do not be confusedfamily relations and financial matters. A common business with relatives can ruin both the relationship and the business. Do not also borrow large amounts of money from relatives. Suddenly it turns out that you can not give them in time, it will cause a difficult situation.
Tip 6: Several ways to avoid conflicts in the family
A family is a union of people connected, betweenby family or ties of marriage, on the basis of mutual moral responsibility, mutual assistance and community of life. The family is an integral part of society and is not experiencing the easiest period of its development. In recent years, the number of divorces has increased several times. One reason for divorce is the various conflicts within the family itself.
The reasons for the conflicts are rather trivial: workload at work, inability to communicate with new relatives, the difference in the temperament of young spouses, inability to listen and hear each other.
Love rests on banal human relations and mutual understanding. It is possible to kill love quite quickly, and it is not always possible to resurrect, alas, and love often turns into hatred.
It is very important to quickly learn restraint and skillclearly, convincingly state their position, arguing it. If attempts to convince the second half do not succeed, you still have to try to end the dispute or seek help from the parents.
Family life is built on self-improvement andmutual understanding. It is necessary to resolve any disagreements calmly, since scandals with clarifying relations will lead to nothing good, but will only exacerbate the situation. To resolve controversial situations, first of all, the ability to take the first step to a meeting, the ability to change one's vision of a particular problem is important.
Also, not unimportant for the resolution of familyconflicts is the communication between spouses, the ability to hear the position of the second half. It has long been noted that when a spouse quarrels use the pronoun "I" instead of "We". This may indicate that in this family the spouses are not yet quite close, there is some kind of mistrust between them.
Tip 7: How to avoid punishment from parents for poor evaluation
Finish school without getting in eleven yearsa single bad evaluation is perhaps impossible. Children and adolescents fear a parental reaction to an unwanted mark, so they try in every possible way to hide the fact of poor progress.
A child can escape punishment from parents fora bad mark, if he knows how to behave. In fact, literate parents will never show aggression towards their children, even if they are not at school. Because attentive adults know: facing aggression, a child, and even more so a teenager, immediately closes from the outside world, and no upbringing on it will not work. It's disappointing, but not all parents are distinguished by profound wisdom. Many mothers go by reading notations, condemnation and threats. Some popes can make fun of their child for a bad mark, speak nasty words and punish. Of course, this is a wrong approach. In this situation, a child or teenager with his example should show his parents a way out of the situation.
Explanation of reasons for underachievement
The first thing to do when a bad scorealready flaunts in a diary, it is to try to explain to parents the cause of underachievement. Perhaps the topic was too difficult to understand. Explain that they would gladly correct the situation if someone helped to understand the subject.Sincerity works wonders, not even with the wisest parents.If there is a conflict with the teacher, aboutthis also needs to be reported to the parents. Any adult knows how difficult it is to prove your worth, if you are being quarreled or ignored altogether. It is necessary to tell everything, as it is. Probably, the teacher really behaves incorrectly, and this affects the performance. Let parents understand with the teacher. Bad state of health reduces attention and concentration. If a bad score emerges as a result of the illness, parents should know about it. Every year the school program becomes tougher, and the health of modern children deteriorates. In no case should a child wait for punishment for a bad evaluation, if he was sick or unwell.
Contact with parents
To learn and receive from the process wellpleasure, you need to stop fearing condemnation and punishment in case of failure. For this you need to establish contact with your parents. We need to introduce them into the course of the case, talk about their problems at school, share their impressions of the lessons.Fear is not the best assistant in improving your academic performance.Sometimes it is enough to tell about yourexperiences about a bad mark, so that parents take the side of their child, stop punishing him and help them to finish their schooling adequately. Only mutual contact with mom and dad gives rise to trust. And trust excludes fear of punishment for bad evaluation.
Council 8: How to avoid conflict between the child and parents
Just yesterday, your child was obedient and affectionate, andtoday it seemed to be inhabited by a demon of contradiction, which is so pushing the baby to spit, to be obstinate and to roll up hysterics. What to do, how not to go on the occasion of emotions and not break on the child, spoiling this day and him and yourself?
If the situation allows, try to ignorea little brawler. Do not look at the child, do not contact him, do your own things, without letting him out of the field of view. The kid quickly loses interest in demonstrative behavior, losing the target audience. Once he settles down, do not forget to emphasize how you like his good behavior.
If the exacerbation is only ripening, thentry to shift the child's attention to something different from the subject of the quarrel. It will be a bright toy, an unexpected trick or by the way the signaled car, decide for yourself. Maybe even help the phrase: "Oh, and it's not whether the little fox-tail has just flashed in the window?" Whims will be forgotten.
A child in the heat of a quarrel is ready to hit the abuseror even you? Hugs will help. Grab the kid in an armful, firmly press against him. In a firm voice, say that his behavior was wrong. The child, feeling your perseverance, will gradually calm down.
Encourage his desire for independence! Grant the right to choose: eat for breakfast eggs or omelets, remove toys before a walk or after. "After consulting" with the child, you will let him feel his importance and deprive the reason to be capricious.
Do not get carried away with abstract concepts, simple andin clear words, tell your child your demands, ask him to repeat what you are asking him for. The tone of your speech should be benevolent and calm. Children feel fine when you start to lose your temper, which makes them even more provocative. Always explain why you do not like his behavior, and not just state the fact.
If you have to threaten your child with punishment,do it only when you are really ready to fulfill what you promised. If, after softening, you buy illegal ice cream, turn on cartoons or take a brawler to the zoo, be prepared for the fact that your words will not be taken seriously and the next whims to stop this way will not be possible. Use threats and punishments are dosed and behave consistently if you have to apply restrictive measures.
Actively listen to the child, show that alwaysare ready to support and take part in its small problems. Distract from the cases, drop to the level of growth of the child or put him next to him, give in, clarify, demonstrate his interest. This habit of benevolent communication serves as an excellent prevention of uncontrolled conflicts with children.
Tip 9: How to avoid conflicts in pivotal families
Every year in Russia the number of consolidated families grows. The main problem experienced by the family is the child's rejection of a new partner by his or her parent.
The connection of two families also means a compoundtheir values and life guides. Very often, children do not accept other people's rules of life, under which they have to re-adjust. For this reason, a large number of psychological conflicts arise. In order to minimize the difficulties of family life, try not to introduce drastic changes into the life of someone else's family. Do not put yourself in the position of a new mother or father of a child. It is very difficult to get a friendly disposition of children, especially if the child is in adolescence. Do not interrupt the communication of the child with his biological parent. A break in communication can become a cause for the child of depression, stress, aggressive behavior. Adhere to one front with the real parents of the child in matters of education. Share your problems with the child. Show that you are the same person as everyone else. Do not try to avoid the upcoming divorce. If the child is interested in family problems, then tell him everything as it is. Try to create new traditions for your family. At first, encourage the child more often. Take him to the zoo, to the cinema or elsewhere. Show that it is really pleasant and interesting for you to spend time with him.
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Tip 10: How to resolve a conflict with the teacher
Often in school, a teenager has problems with teachers. Causes conflict can be different, and the result, as a rule,one. And he is quite deplorable for the child both in the literal and figurative meaning of the word. Reduces academic achievement, lowers self-esteem, there are neurological disorders (problems with sleep, poor appetite, etc.). How to solve this situation?
You will need
- Attention, patience, objectivity ... Sometimes a pen with paper to write a complaint to a higher authority or an application for transfer to another school.
Instructions
1
First, parents need to learn to notice problems with their child in school. About the conflict with teacher the situation when a child is interested instudy of an object, talk with contempt of the teacher's personality or is lost and locked in himself when asked about him. In some cases, parents have to observe even a mutilated school textbook on a particular subject. All this, together with the appearance of bad assessments, which had not been before, is a manifestation of a negative attitude towards the teacher and a testimony conflict.
2
Intimate talk. Parents need to find out the reasons and stage conflict. And without a frank conversation this can not be avoided. In conversation, try not to attack the child with reproaches. Believe me, even if he is wrong, he is already so hard now. But to indulge and encourage the misconduct of your son or daughter is also not worth it. Try to be objective and try to force the child to look at the situation through the eyes of the teacher.
3
In most cases it will be better if the childitself "will ruin" the situation. Sometimes it's enough just to go to the teacher and ask for forgiveness. But it is only worth doing if the child himself realizes his guilt. Otherwise, he simply regards this as your inability to protect his interests and violence against his will.
4
Talk to teacher himself, preferably taking a child with: let the younger generation learn to resolve conflicts in a civilized way. Listen to the teacher's claims, the explanations of your student and try to settle the situation peacefully.
