Tip 1: How to avoid being lonely

Psychology

Tip 1: How to avoid being lonely

Loneliness frightens not only the old people, but alsoyoung. It's scary to never find a suitable partner, to be misunderstood in society, not to have friends. It seems that without a decent environment it will not work out, that in itself you are weak and helpless.

Instructions

Why are some people constantly surrounded by friends, andothers all their lives are lonely? In the opinion of psychologists this is the choice of everyone. At first he is unconscious. A person prone to seclusion, wants to communicate with others, but hesitates to start a conversation, the presence of a stranger nearby frightens and irritates him. He starts digging into himself, looking for flaws, complexing. And only after a sufficient number of lived years understands that in fact his natural state is loneliness. He no longer tries to overcome himself by dealing with uninteresting people. And directs all forces to physical development and spiritual perfection.

If this is not your case, you feel the needin communication, but until you can not find friends - do not be discouraged. Start with the virtual space. Corresponding with an invisible partner, you will not be shy, will be able to express any thought. The interlocutors will understand what an interesting and developed person you are without even seeing you. And in a real meeting you will feel more relaxed, because you will have to talk with people you know for a long time. And among them there are necessarily two or three who will become your true friends.

If you do not complain about the absence of friends, butwith a personal life big problems - the partner is not there for a long time, as well as applicants for a vacant place, perhaps you do not have enough self-confidence. Show more initiative when dealing with people of the opposite sex. Show attention, make it clear that you are free and are not averse to twisting the novel. It is not necessary that the first person you like will reciprocate. Do not drop your hands and keep looking for your soul mate.

To avoid being alone, become moreopen, friendly, talkative. More often say "yes." Few people realize how much they miss, refusing the suggestions of others - go camping, jump with a parachute, and just sit with friends on a bench in the yard. Any simple action creates continuation, and by agreeing to something, you give fate a chance to surround you with reliable comrades and loved ones.

Tip 2: How to decide on a wedding in the church

Wedding - this is not just a tribute to fashion and veneration of traditions. For orthodox Christians, marriage is one for a lifetime, therefore the attitude to the sacrament of the wedding among believing people is tremulous and responsible. To decide whether to consecrate the marriage in churches, you should find out your motives.

Instructions

You must be sure that you love a person. There are many reasons for marriage in the modern world: the chance to avoid loneliness, the desire to have children, sober calculation and financial interests, obtaining any privileges, etc. If your desire to combine marriage is dictated solely by a feeling of love, willingness to be faithful and faithful spouses, then the wedding will only strengthen your union. Ask yourself the question: are you ready to live with this person all your life, not regretting anything and not striving to get any benefit.

Do not get married, following only fashionable trends. Beautiful atmosphere, solemnity, the very atmosphere of the temple make the wedding an interesting and attractive action. But to decide on the sacrament only because your friends, relatives, or what your parents ask it is wrong. You must feel the need to sanctify your union with the soul, as this is a spiritual sacrament.

Be sure to find out the opinion of the future spouse forabout this. Your desire to be married should be mutual - if the partner is going about with you, just not wanting to spoil the relationship, you should realize the importance of the sacrament and make sure that both of you correctly perceive this step. You will have more than once to discuss all the issues with the groom, before you go to the altar hand in hand.

Choose the cleric you aretrust, that is, regularly confess, go to services, conduct spiritual conversations. In some churches, before the wedding, the young are required to spend several hours chatting with a spiritual mentor. The person who will sanctify your marriage before God can best explain to you all the nuances of this sacrament, prepare to solve organizational problems, help in making a decision. Be sure to read the recommended literature.

Find out what day in your temple will bebe married and ask permission from the priest and the young couple to attend the sacrament. You can look at the whole process from the inside, imagine how everything will look on your own wedding.

Tip 3: How to change your life quickly

From time to time, circumstances in a person's lifeare formed so that there is a desire to change everything. The cause may be failure in your personal life, troubles at work. Sometimes a person simply feels: what is happening is not what he once dreamed of. How to change your life in a short time?

Instructions

Analyze how you live, and honestlyadmit to yourself what you would like to change, no matter how fundamental aspects of your life such a "restructuring" will affect. Reconsider the fear of change and act according to your decision.

Find a new job. If you are not interested in what you have to do every day eight hours a day, stop wasting time. The secret of success in building a career is that you must love your work, it should bring you pleasure. Salary is not enough incentive to improve in the sphere of its activity and to achieve new successes. In addition, you will receive income from any other work, and the greater, the more beloved it is.

Take time out on your hobby. Among work duties and endless household chores, a person usually has to spin like a squirrel in a wheel. There is no time to relax at all, a situation of constant time trouble is created. Meanwhile, a hobby is rest and realization of one's talents and creative talents. If successful, the hobby can become your profession.

Part with a man who does notarranges. Sometimes a relationship with an unsuitable partner is maintained to avoid loneliness. In fact, you are doing yourself a disservice. For example, a man is "hopelessly married," aggressive or donjuan, a woman is not inclined to remain faithful, and simply you do not like this person. Do not lose precious time, because with age, the chances of finding a life partner, alas, do not increase. Open your heart for a new relationship.

Change yourself. Your physical body, your habits, your contacts with other people, in one word you are the point of reference that determines the whole picture of your life. Correct what you want to correct: lose weight, go in for sports, start to lead a healthy lifestyle, cut off contacts with "pseudo-friends", which are pulled down, and a life will certainly change for the better.

Tip 4: How to escape from loneliness

One of the most common humanfears with which people come to psychologists - the fear of loneliness. Because of him, people are often ready for years to live with unloved partners and constantly look for someone's society.

Understand the source of the problem

A person with such a problem must first be understood,why is he at all burdened by the thought of loneliness. Many people live alone and are in difficult relationships with family members, but not all of them suffer from loneliness. Thoughts of abandonment and rejection often arise in people who have lost in childhood a love of their mother or father; who were little hugged, little praised and brought up in severity. This lack of emotional closeness and warmth they could not satisfy, and as adults, they continue to wait for it in relationships and communication, but it seems to them all the time. These people need society and in the company, they feel uncomfortable and bored with themselves, they find it difficult to occupy themselves. It seems to them that the time spent alone is spent in vain. In the presence of problems in relations with parents, childhood traumas of abandonment or rejection, it is first of all necessary to work them, for example, with a psychologist, to restore internal integrity.

Learn self-sufficiency

To suffer less from loneliness, alsoyou must love yourself. A person should realize that he always has himself, while any other people and things can sooner or later escape from his life. Those who are very afraid of loneliness, often attached to a partner, some close person and if for some reason he loses, then for years he can recover from the received mental trauma and a sense of inner emptiness. Sometimes such a loss ends in tragedy. Therefore, despite strong love and affection for others, one should be able to do without them when necessary. It is worth learning to enjoy your company, find employment, enjoy life. For training, you can, for example, go to the cinema alone and get pleasure from it or make a delicious pie just for yourself. When a person has learned to enjoy life alone and overcome the fear of loneliness, it becomes easier for him to build harmonious and joyful relationships with people, where everyone is self-sufficient and does not press his excessive expectations and desire to be together every second. After all, to get bored, sometimes you need to leave for a while, even until the evening, when everyone returns from work. People are drawn to a person who is well with himself, they are warming up next to him, because he is open and not afraid to give. Unlike him, a person who is afraid of loneliness always expects something from others. In an effort to control people, he painfully follows their behavior and words, expecting that they are about to be abandoned or will leave one again.

Tip 5: How to drive away fear

Fear is the feeling given to man by nature. It helps to feel danger. But groundless, panic fear prevents you from living peacefully, spoiling your nerves, and sometimes driving you crazy. Help to avoid extremes can only ability to overcome fear, drive it away.

Instructions

Find out the cause of your fear. Perhaps your life is full of events, work and worries. Exhaustion gave rise to a slight alarm, which you preferred not to notice. Then there was insomnia. And in the end, the exhausted body began to give out attacks of unreasonable fear. Such a problem is not difficult to solve. Just relax, disconnect from endless deeds, go on vacation, get enough sleep. Of course, not only the accelerated pace of existence can cause an unpleasant feeling. Someone is afraid of loneliness, some sickness, some conflicts, etc. Every fear must be learned to counter something: loneliness - family, children, friends, communication, active way of life; illnesses - physical exercises, hardening; conflicts - friendliness, goodwill, sociability, etc.

Learn to calm yourself. At least a couple times a day follow the following simple exercise: Close your eyes, relax, send your thoughts in a pleasant direction (imagine nature, lake, sunrise, sunset, surf, flowers, birds, etc.), take a few deep breaths. This will help you to always be in a balanced state, gain control over your own feelings, pacify your imagination, calm your nerves and look at yourself from the side.

Try not to become self-absorbed. Talk about your problems with a loved one. Often in order to drive away fear, it is enough to just say things. If nothing works for you, consider a step like calling a specialist. This is absolutely normal solution for a person who wants to understand his inner world and overcome fear. In modern society, an appeal to a psychologist is not something out of the ordinary. After all, sometimes the explanation of fear can hide somewhere deep in the mind, and the feeling itself is the consequence of some long-past events.