Tip 1: Why do children not understand their parents?
Tip 1: Why do children not understand their parents?
Any adequate parent wishes his or her childonly happiness. But most often in their positive impulses, adults stumble upon the child's reluctance to listen to advice and instruction. The child just does not want to understand what adults say to him.
Age crises as the cause of conflicts
Children's protest in varying degreesis present in different age periods, connected with crisis moments. Especially difficult can be considered the age crises of the age of three, when the child begins to feel like an independent person, and in adolescence, when the hormonal changes in the body begin and all that is associated with them. At the age of three, a child can show obstinacy purely for research purposes to see , as adults react to his behavior. But in the strongest manifestations of stubbornness, parents are still an indisputable authority at this age. The crisis of the adolescent period is not in vain called "difficult age", and this age is difficult not only for children, but also for their parents. At the age of 13-14 the child undergoes a powerful hormonal reconstruction - the child passes to the stage of growing up.How to find a common language with a teenager
Physiological maturation does not always happenin parallel with the psychological, which causes dissonance in the child's understanding of the world around him and those people who for the child are associated, first of all, with childhood, that is, with parents. It is difficult for a teenager to understand that for parents he will always remain a child. And in 20, and in 30 years they will treat him as a child, requiring care and affection. Before some adults, this idea comes at the end of days, of their own or their parents, and the teenager sees in the manifestation of care only the desire of parents to restrict his freedom. At this age, it makes no sense to explain the truth to the child, they are unlikely to be heard. The task of the parents of a teenage child is to let him know that he is still loved and under their protection. Love and tact will help to maintain friendly relations with the child. Let parents and sad to realize that the baby flies out of his native nest, but through this all have passed is life.Tip 2: Why parents do not understand their children
There is no closer connection than the one that arisesbetween the parents and the child. Flesh from the flesh, blood from blood - and, nevertheless, in the relationship of "fathers and children" thousands of sad stories are known, there are conflicts and alienations.
In the image and likeness
Nobody is perfect: it is a phrase-salvation and a phrase-justification. But parents, often from the best motives, take away from their child the right to be non-ideal. They put a stranger's load on their fragile shoulders - "Better than me, be the best - but only as I say." A small person is dependent on his parents and wants to make them happy. But if the parents do not listen to him - the attempts to go to meet them will end, he will stop talking about himself and grow up completely unfamiliar to his parents. "You were such a good boy, and now ..." - should be read as "You did not have your opinion, but now you have it (and I do not like it)." Do not try to think up for your child what he likes and what he wants to do. Listen to him, discuss with him the events around you and take his opinion into account. Now it is immature and naive, but sharing it with you, the child renders you trust, which is easy to lose.Language of childhood
Imagine that you are communicating with a cat. A cat is an intelligent being with its own rules of communication. It is sufficiently developed to take offense at you, to feel sympathy for you and understand what you want from it ... if you say it in its language. How will you show the cat where its tray is? Carry out there as a cat-mother would have suffered a kitten-it's ridiculous to imagine that you explain to her "the first door to the left", using human language. You are an adult, smart and strong. And your child is learning from you. It seems to you that you do not understand your child when he cries at the store, but in fact the child does not understand you. You bought bread, milk - which means "no money for a toy"? The concept of the economy and the family budget, he does not. And your task is to pick up the very words and images that the child will understand. Do not try to intimidate him with complex words - just upset, and teach nothing new. For your child, the whole life now is an intensive training course. You will become a good teacher of life if you can find the right words for every "level of complexity", for every age.Remember all
Memory is a treacherous thing. On the one hand, memories of yourself and your child can give you a clue to understanding. And on the other - all these phrases and thoughts like "I was not so", "They did not do it in my time" - these are traps that will distract you from the child. Remember that he does not have to be like you. This is your child, but not your clone: an individual person, a small universe with which you need to communicate and reckon, which you need to learn, even from the position of the elder. You are the main protector of your child. But as soon as the protection grows into confinement - among the templates, fears, complexes of yourself - the understanding disappears and hidden and obvious conflicts begin, which maybe only a few years later. Therefore, keep your sensitivity and patience - and the child himself will reach out to you and help you understand him, and moreover - in the future, he will understand you.Tip 3: Why do children get into a bad company
None of the parents are immune from the fact that their child can get into a bad company. It can be found in school, on the street, in the camp, at my grandmother in the village. How to protect it from this, what to do.
You will need
- You need a little time to read.
Instructions
1
If your child often walks on the street, the riskto contact a bad company is increasing. What to do? It is necessary to be always in the know with whom, where the child walks. If possible, meet with the parents of friends. If you think that such acquaintances do not fit, organize the life of the child so that there is no time for empty walks.
2
A bad company can be a strong guardianshipover the baby. Trying to feel cool, he will definitely be carried away by bad guys. Therefore, always leave your child more freedom, the right to choose. At first you will be afraid of this, but then you will understand that from this the child becomes independent and self-confident.
3
If your child is timid and modest, then he has everythingchances to get involved in a bad company. In hooligans they are attracted by the belief in themselves, which they lack. Choose a suitable hobby for the child, in which he will prove himself from the best side.
4
Often in a bad society can lead to banal curiosity. Talk with the child more often, with whom he communicates, is friends, in what games he plays.
Tip 4: Why does a child spoil a book?
Almost all children spoil books: paint them, cut them or tear them to pieces. Why is this happening? Kids behave so not because of banal harmfulness, but because they want to understand everything that is before them.
Thus, the child begins to realize that,drawing, he can leave a mark on books. For him, this is a great discovery, especially in the period from one to two years, when he receives an answer to the main question "What can I do?". Receiving answers, he develops himself as a creative person, which will affect him in the future. In addition, when a child tears books, he learns the properties of paper. Parents should learn patience, because only respect and a fair attitude to the "creativity" of the baby will allow to receive in the future a joyful result.
No less important and interesting process forthe child is also the gluing of the book that was torn from it, so you must let the kid stick it together. Understand that what matters is not the result itself, but the process of knowing that it is possible to put the parts together into one whole. It is not necessary to glue the book up to a whole state, because a child will quickly get tired of such a lesson.
Often children cross out the faces of certain heroes of the book, thus expressing their protest. It is possible that the characters of the book did not like crumbs.
How correctly to forbid?
But along with children's creativity, do not forgetand the need for restrictions. Explain to the kid that it is impossible to paint all the books, but it must be explained to the child. For example, when you see that a child has taken up a book, explain that it is too expensive for you and give him another book in return. Perhaps it will be a coloring or an album. By the way, it makes sense to buy several books just in order for the child to paint.
