How to survive death to children
How to survive death to children
Death of a loved one always becomesa heavy blow even for adults - what to say about children. It is impossible to completely protect the child from such situations, but it is possible and necessary to help him cope with the pain of loss.
Instructions
1
It is necessary to inform the child about the death of a loved onerights. "Holy lie" in such cases is unacceptable. Learning that "Mom has left for a long time," the child may feel abandoned, and this feeling will not soften, but will exacerbate the psychological trauma. In addition, there will always be "well-wishers" who will tell the baby the truth, and then a heartache related to death will be added to the annoyance of deceit on the part of close people.
2
Speaking of death with the child or with otherspeople in his presence, it is necessary to avoid allegorical turns, because children, especially small ones, take words literally. For example, after hearing the phrase "fell asleep forever," the child will be afraid to go to bed.
3
In the first days after the death of a family member, adultsbusy with the sad troubles, they are also hard, but this is not an excuse to "brush aside" from the child. It will not be superfluous to caress him and take him in his arms more often than usual. Adults must necessarily answer the baby's questions, no matter how "stupid" and annoying they may seem.
4
Questions of the child can testify tonascent fears. Having survived the death of a grandmother, the child may fear that the parents will die, and the prospect of their own death may frighten them. Do not lie to the child, promising that mom, dad and he will live forever, enough to say that this will happen in many years.
5
Do not judge a child if he does not cry anddoes not react at all to the death of a loved one - this is evidence not of spiritual hardness, but of the fact that the child has not yet realized what happened. Even many days after the funeral of his father, he can ask time after time when the pope will come home. Adults will each time calmly, without showing irritation, explain that death is forever.
6
The child probably wants to know where nowis a close person. In a winning position are believers: "Grandma went to heaven, she is now with God" sounds more optimistic than "Grandma is no more." In an atheistic family, you can focus on the fact that the deceased will never be hurt or sad again, his suffering is over - this sounds particularly convincing, if before the death of a man for a long time and seriously ill.
7
To take a child under 8-9 years of age is not worth burial: in this difficult procedure, even adults sometimes lose composure. Let the child say goodbye to the deceased at home.
8
After the funeral, people return to normal life,But the pain is weakening not at once, including in children. If the child starts talking about the deceased, you can and need to talk with him, make memories together, you can open a family photo album and see the photos of the deceased.
