Tip 1: How to survive adultery
Tip 1: How to survive adultery
Relationships in marriage are built on trust, mutualrespect and, of course, love. Treason can not fail to shake these foundations of family well-being. However, both partners are able to save their marriage, provided that they are ready to exert certain efforts.
It will be useful to leave for a while,stay at a distance from each other, it will help you understand your feelings and look at the situation with a fresh look. Visit your girlfriend in another city, live with relatives or rent a hotel room for a few days. If you are changed, you probably plunged into a whirlpool of emotions. A heated debate and clarifying the relationship can only hurt your relationship more. Take a timeout. Describe the events that, in your opinion, led to infidelity. It will be useful for both partners to keep a diary. Treason does not arise from scratch. Think whether it was the result of your mistrust, a constant display of disrespect or indifference. In addition, be sure to make a list of the positive qualities of your partner and the pleasant deeds that he committed. This is necessary in order to adequately assess the situation, not plunging headlong into the charges. Be honest with yourself, describing your feelings, thoughts and expectations. Discuss what happened with your partner. It would be better to do this in neutral territory, for example, in a park, in a restaurant or in the office of a family psychologist. Do not choose a bar, a shared friend's apartment or a memorable place for both of you. You want to approach the solution of the problem in a clear mind. When discussing this unpleasant event, the pronoun "I" should be used more often, for example, "I feel this way" or "This event made me feel ..." If you have changed, do not think and do not even say that you understand the feelings your partner. All people are different, and it is also very unpleasant to hear such statements from the mouth of the culprit of the incident. Contact a specialist. There are many family psychologists specializing in adultery. Ask your partner to go with you or visit a few consultations yourself. If such consultations do not fit into your budget, find literature on this topic. Do not lose self-esteem. This step is important for both sides. If the changed person goes through life with a constant sense of guilt, the relationship is doomed. The offended party should try to regain self-confidence. It is extremely important to do this before starting work on relationships. Discover each other anew. Create new memories - go to relax, go on a date, find common interests. Remember, finally, why you fell in love with each other!
Tip 2: How to survive adultery
The betrayal of one of the spouses always becomes a sick blow to another. However, such an act does not mean that your other half does not love you and does not feel deep feelings for you.
Instructions
1
If you are changed by the person you arereally love, it's best to give him a choice. Maybe he will really be happy not with you, but with another person. Then let him go, let him live and enjoy life, but without you. If your second half after committing adultery still claims that she loves you only, and no one except you do not need her, the choice of forgiveness or parting remains only for you.
2
Survive the betrayal of a loved oneit is difficult, but still possible. To begin with, understand that such a betrayal has hurt you, but life has not yet ended. Time will pass, and this insulting situation will not be forgotten, but it will not be so hard to disturb your soul. Be strong. In addition, this test is sure to be for you a new life lesson and experience that will harden your nerves.
3
Try to talk with your soul mateabout the causes of betrayal. Most likely, both of you are to blame for what happened. Treason is most often committed when there are too many disagreements, misunderstandings, conflicts, quarrels, lack of tenderness, warmth and mutual return of feelings in the family. Find the root of this behavior of a loved one and destroy it. If a person lacks your attention, surround him with warmth and care, if you quarrel often, try to resolve conflicts before they start. Look for compromises. Of course, after being betrayed, it will be too difficult for you to make mutual efforts to preserve the family, but you must find the strength and work on relationships. Some couples in such situations are helped by family psychologists.
4
Devoted boys and girls are oftenvengeance of his beloved by his own methods, so rashly rush into the arms of any person who is nearby. It is strictly forbidden to do such actions. Just think about what will become of your already tainted relationships and feelings. You completely destroy mutual trust, and you yourself, most likely, will feel remorse, because you will go to bed with a stranger only for the sake of a sweet sense of revenge.
5
Remember that relationships in marriage are built onlybetween two loving and respectful people, even the temporary appearance in them of any third person can destroy even the most stable, reliable and strong married couple.
Tip 3: How to avoid adultery
Treason, unfortunately, is not uncommon inmarital relations. Couples experience such an unpleasant event in different ways: someone disagrees, some people always have a mistrust for their partner, and only a few are able to survive betrayal and move further, realizing the value of the relationship. You can not take the situation under control and prevent the betrayal of a partner, but in your power to reduce the probability of this event.
Instructions
1
Do not make the spouse match the imagethe ideal man that you came up with, perhaps as a child. The fictitious prince can be dazzlingly handsome and brave, he is a doctor of science and the owner of his own business, is able to lay a hooligan with one hand, nails shelves at first request and bakes pancakes in the morning. But only in marriage did you marry another man with your interests and needs. Do not show discontent with the fact that your man does not reach the ideal - he did not subscribe to it.
2
Unrealized sexual fantasies are prettyoften push the spouses to the left. And it's not so much that one of the partners demands something too perverted, but that both are not used to talking about sex. But it's hard to guess that the husband would not mind seeing you in a nurse's suit or trying to bind if he never told you about it. Take the first step. Tell us about what you would like to experience, and ask the man in response to describe their desires. Qualitative sex, which gives pleasure to both participants, will strengthen the family.
3
Make sure that the husband respects you. Treason is an act that offends a partner. And insulting a person to whom you have genuine respect, is difficult in the moral sense. Probably, conscience simply will not allow your man to be in someone else's bed.
4
Tell each other what exactly you expect from yourrelations. If you want to get more support from your beloved spouse, tell him directly about it. In turn, ask him to also voice his needs, whether it is a friendly participation after a hard day's work or a joint viewing of a football match. It is not superfluous to visit a psychologist together. Sometimes people are not aware of some desires, but their lack of satisfaction can adversely affect family life. The psychologist will be able to help you understand exactly what you lack.
