How flattery affects relationships
How flattery affects relationships
The word "flattery", as a rule, is in ourperception of negative coloring, associated with lies and servility. But in relationships, it can become both a destructive factor and, on the contrary, an instrument for maintaining harmony.
Before talking about using flattery,should understand the definition. In general, dictionaries define "flattery" as a deceit, the exaltation of someone's qualities, in order to place a person and use it. If we take a broader concept, this term can be understood as an exaggeration in the conversation of the positive qualities of the interlocutor.
Positive moments of flattery
Relationships are the search for compromises. But such a search is much more difficult when there is no mutual support and encouragement. A common expression says that "women love with their ears," but in almost the same way it applies to men. It is important for both partners to understand that their works are judged on merit, and reasonable moderate use of flattery will only help. For example, a woman cooked a delicious dinner. This, it seems, is quite a natural function, many men perceive this action as a reality, and some even risk criticizing the food served. Nevertheless, the phrase "I have never eaten anything tastier" or "you are terrific cooking" will not only give the companion a good mood, which she will try to share with her beloved, but also provoke her to explore new culinary masterpieces. On the one hand - it is flattery, an exaggeration, because the dish, perhaps, was not the most delicious in the world. On the other - an element of harmonious interaction with the partner. The same concerns admiration for the man. Perhaps in society it is believed that he must certainly hammer nails, hang shelves and repair sockets, but sincere admiration for these actions will never hurt. The phrases "you are a real master" and "you have golden hands" will be received positively, even if the satellite does not show it outwardly. Negative action of flattery
Problems begin when flattery is from exhilarationand support turns into a tool of manipulation: "You're so strong, do this and that," and "you're such a good housewife, it'll be quite easy for you," etc. Several times such a trick may work, but then the harmony in the relationship will be disrupted or even lost forever. Another dangerous moment is flattery from scratch. To exaggerate one's impression of good partner actions is one thing, to praise it from scratch - quite another (except for talk about appearance). Such flattery can provoke inaction, apathy and selfishness. The use of flattery should be reasonable, limited, in order to support the partner, and not in an attempt to manipulate him.
