Tip 1: How to deal with insult

Tip 1: How to deal with insult



With resentment at heart it is difficult to enjoy life. This feeling weighs and brings sadness. Do not take the words and actions of others too close to your heart. Understand yourself and learn to deal with your grievances.





Do not save grudges


















Instructions





1


Understand that insult brings harm, first of all,you yourself. Sometimes a person who has hurt you with his words or actions may not even suspect of his unseemly act. He will quietly live on, as long as you plague yourself with endless thoughts about what happened between you. It turns out that you punish yourself, keeping in your heart the insult that eats you from the inside, deprives the joy of life and leads to stress.





2


Learn to forgive others. Maybe you are too categorical about other people. Change your attitude. Do not expect too much from them. Then you will not have to so often feel disappointed and hurt. Realize that a person has the right to make a mistake. Treat others more tolerantly and condescendingly. If you learn to let go of the evil that someone has inflicted on you, it will be easier for you first.





3


Perceive even a negative situation likea certain life experience. The person you interact with can teach you something. Let the lesson sometimes be somewhat cruel, but it also helps you to become wiser, stronger, more enduring. Look at the situation that you are very upset, on this side.





4


Maybe you take offense at others becausecan not understand their motives. Do not project your worldview on others. Your friends, acquaintances, relatives and colleagues have their own system of values ​​and personal reasons to act in one way or another. In addition, we should not discount the special features of some people. What seems gross to you, for others is the norm of communication. Try to see the situation from the other side, putting yourself in someone's place.





5


Do not be too suspicious. Some people are able to find an attempt at an insult or some kind of dirty trick where there is none. Do not be like such people. Do not think anything out for others. Take into account only the facts and the direct meaning of the words that you hear, not your own arguments. Sometimes it is worth to drop emotions and objectively think what this person did to you. Do not forget that sometimes your bad mood, unimportant state of health or fatigue makes you irritable, impressionable and vulnerable person. Consider your state and mood before drawing conclusions about someone's behavior.





6


If someone has seriously hurt you, do not take revenge andaccumulate a grievance. Draw a caricature of this person or imagine him in a ridiculous, unattractive light. Sometimes a hearty conversation with a loved one or a good friend. Share your sorrows, and you should become easier.




























Tip 2: How to deal with grievances



Resentment, as a rule, arises as a reciprocal feeling for unjustly caused grief or insult. Often, resentment in a person is caused by his deceived expectations aimed at others.





How to deal with grievances








Instructions





1


First, your abuser may not have a clue,that someone on him for something offended. So does it make sense to take offense at someone who never even knows about it? If you want to clarify the situation, tell him about your feelings, only use for this not accusatory expressions, but phrases like: "I feel resentment. I hate when you do this and that or that or do not do what I expect of you. "





2


It is completely impossible to get rid of emotions. You can talk about them, but do not expect from other people that they owe you something or should. Perceive their good attitude towards you as a gift, a sign of sympathy or whatever, but not as an immutable given, deviations from which are unacceptable.





3


If you are offended by a person for not beingjustified your expectations, keep in mind: people can not read your thoughts. If you expect a person to do this or that way towards you, try asking him about it or at least hinting. Wait, while others will guess about your desires, and even be offended when this does not happen, just silly.





4


Perhaps, having offended you, the person inadvertently touched youfor a sore spot. Before you take offense, think about whether he consciously did it, or so it happened rather by accident, "without a back thought" on his part. Even if he deliberately told you hurtful truth in the eyes (because very often people are offended at the unpleasant truth for them), thank him for this.





5


Recognize, for example, that there is a share in his wordstruth, and take out of the situation something useful for yourself. Perhaps this is exactly what you need to work on, and you do not dare to admit to yourself that this is really necessary. In addition, if a person is frank with you, rather than spreading rumors behind his back, this is already worthy of respect.





6


If you are offended by a stranger with whomyou do not connect anything (pushed in the transport, stepped on the foot, etc.) and, probably, you'll never see again, it's best to take this with humor and forget. But if it is a question of a conflict with a close friend or relative, it is unlikely that we will manage without talking "heart to heart". Begin such a conversation nevertheless only when the emotions are settled and you can speak calmly, without mutual accusations and reproaches.