Tip 1: Do I need to change for someone?

Psychology

Tip 1: Do I need to change for someone?

Human changes are possible, there are waysadjust habits, rule the character, but only it is difficult to do this from the outside. The person himself makes the decision that he needs to become different. But it is not always worthwhile to go for such a transformation for the sake of other people.

Instructions

Man is constantly changing, externalcircumstances, knowledge, work correct his views. Every 2-3 years a person becomes different. It's not difficult to check, remember your thoughts and desires about 5 years ago, and you will understand that now everything is not quite right. But this process is gradually and imperceptibly, but it can be significantly speeded up. This can be done by internal urge or by external pressure.

Entering into a relationship, people change. They begin to adjust to their partner, they try to please him in the early stages of meetings, and then they will adapt to life together. Do this, as adults are accustomed to live their own way, and the appearance of a pair changes everything. But usually two people participate in concessions, each adjusts their behavior. It is necessary to get used to habits, to organize a common way of life, to choose time for communication and joint projects. You need to change for the sake of your loved ones, but it's important not to lose yourself. If the partner refuses to do something, does not seek to adapt, but requires it from you, it is worth thinking about and discussing it.

Changes in a person occur at birthchild, and it is almost impossible for them to resist. I have to adjust my time, my habits to the schedule and needs of the baby. This transformation is natural, it affects mother more than the pope, but always changes the foundations of the family. All these changes are irreversible, for example, the desire to take care of the child, the desire to protect him from troubles will remain with you for life. Change in this situation is necessary, but again without losing yourself. It is important to leave a place for your own hobbies, for caring for your body, for rest.

When still it is necessary to change for the sake of others? When others give good advice, for example, require discipline, punctuality, professionalism. It is important not to protest at once, but to think how much these changes will be useful and relevant. At work they can demand many qualities, but their acquisition will only benefit, will help career growth, improve the attitude of your team. You need to be able to listen to the demands and correctly evaluate them, there are things that should not be resisted.

When to change it is not necessary? When you are offered to completely forget about your personality, when the imposed rules deprive you of the opportunity to self-actualize. If you are forced to become a different person, you should not agree. Adjustments - it's great, but reshaping the personality is impossible, and even more so if it does not bring joy, brings suffering and nervousness.

Tip 2: Do you really need a loved one in life?

From the screens of TVs and computer monitorsthey constantly say that for happiness you need to meet your half. But you can live joyfully, comfortably and cheerfully and without a couple. There are several points of view on building alliances.

Very often, after divorce, people say,that living alone is very comfortable. The absence of a couple does not in this case affect the satisfaction of life. Not everyone after an unsuccessful marriage again decides to build something serious. To live comfortably, you need a few conditions, and having partners is not the most important thing.

When a loved one is needed

A couple is very necessary in adolescence, when the hormonal backgroundIt changes when the first falling in love. At this moment you need to learn how to interact with the opposite sex in a new way, to realize yourself as a man or a woman. In this case, emotions allow you to feel magical, give inspiration. Love allows you to easily leave the parent family and start living separately. It becomes a huge stimulus and destroys all fears. The presence of a couple gives a sense of integrity, the ability to lean on an unformed personality on the shoulder of another. Second person is needed for those who are very afraid of loneliness. There are people who are ready to endure the company is not the best person, but it is important not to be alone. This may be a consequence of psychological trauma or inappropriate education. But usually the life of such people is not happy.

When a partner is not needed

A couple sometimes gives meaning to life, not everyone is readyto achieve something for yourself, it is important to do something for the other. If there is someone in life who lives for whom, it is not necessary to love the opposite sex. If there are children, then this is enough for happiness. Sometimes such objects become parents or even pets. A career can replace a family. Striving for goals, conquering peaks gives special emotions, they are very strong and sufficient to feel happiness. Careerists understand that they can not always combine their employment and relationships, so they make a choice in favor of achievements, and this gives them satisfaction. Those who have experienced personal tragedy often refuse to love. For example, the death of a husband can lead to the fact that the widow will always live alone. But this restriction does not deprive her of happiness, she can find herself in creativity, work, environment. Having a partner is not so important, because there are other activities. Complex alliances in the past can discourage the desire to build something else in the future. If there was an experience of negative love, then you do not want to go back into emotion. And such people can be called happy, they just learn to fill their space with other things and do not feel deprived. They choose life in their own way, and this gives them satisfaction.

Tip 3: How to get out right

Parting with a loved one never happenseasy for anyone. Regardless of whether you are leaving or leaving, it is difficult. But the one who makes a choice has some advantages. He has time to think things over, prepare. In his power to make his care less painful. Perhaps you can not do this so that you do not hurt others, but it depends on you how honestly and conscientiously you act.

You will need

Confidence in your own decision

Instructions

Think again. Write down why you are making this decision. Ask yourself why you entered into this relationship, why did you choose this person's personal? What has changed for you? Do you really want to leave or is this your way of letting the other know that it needs to change? If you firmly believe that this relationship has no future - prepare for a break. If you are in a situation where a partner physically or emotionally suppresses you, you should not give vent to feelings. If you are in danger, you must immediately flee, and not leave.

Make a number of important decisions regarding yourpersonal future. Are you ready to cope with the financial situation or are you still counting on a partner? Do you have where to live or do you know where your partner can move, after the break? Do you have joint obligations and how are you going to share this responsibility?

Is there someone who can support yourpartner at this moment? If you are afraid that the person you are throwing can harm yourself with destructive behavior, perhaps it is worth taking care that someone close to him is close to him? Do not discuss your decision with one of his friends before you talk to your partner, but it makes sense to ask someone to come or call after your conversation.

Tune in to the conversation face to face. Prepare to answer numerous "why?". If you are afraid that emotions will overwhelm you, put your reasons in writing, but do not send them by e-mail in any way! Do not blame the partner for how things turned out. Talk about your relationship, not about who is good and who is bad. Tell us about your feelings, say that you, too, are hurt and bitter, but this is a necessary decision for you to be happy. Tell your ex, that you do not wish him evil and want everything to go well with him.

Give your partner an end planrelations. Show him that you've considered everything, but do not forget that he also has the right to vote on issues relating to the social side of your relationship. Come to an agreement.

Do not "run away" from a partner, but do not give himhope. Be kind and correct, but do not allow to cause in you a feeling of guilt or excessive responsibility. You may be able to maintain friendly relations, but this will require efforts on both sides. Be prepared for the fact that your partner does not want to "remain friends." You have made your decision, he has the right to accept his own.