How to tell a child about grief?
How to tell a child about grief?
In the life of almost any person, questions arise whether to tell the child about the death of a loved one. If to speak, then how and when? What words to choose so as not to injure the child's psyche?
Psychologists believe unequivocally what to say is necessary. If you try to hide it, sooner or later the child will still find out from someone else or will guess, and this will be a minus in relations with the parents. The child can not be deceived, otherwise confidence in the parents will be lost. And then the children are very sensitive to the condition of adults. And if an adult experiences a loss, the child understands that something is going on, and starts to get nervous because he can not understand the reason. Tell the child about death as soon as possible. A child under 7 years old can not yet fully understand that death is forever. And children do not know how to experience it as long and deeply as adults. Therefore, they will receive news with their children's concept of the world. It is worth explaining to the child what death is. How this explanation will depend on adults. From their own idea of death (atheistic or religious). The information should be dosed, but if there are questions, then try to answer them as accurately as possible and more easily. And do not forget that if a child does not ask anything, it does not mean that he does not experience. Simply, he tries to put into his consciousness a new concept for him - death. But whether it is necessary to take the child to a funeral is a controversial issue. There is no unequivocal answer to it. In my opinion, it's better not to take the child, but to explain to him that only adults go to the funeral. And then later it is necessary to take the child to the cemetery and show the burial place. And we must not forget that the child has the right to their experiences and emotions. Treat this with understanding. Give him the opportunity to express his feelings. Children learn everything from adults. Therefore, depending on how the family behave during the experience of grief, depends not only the behavior of the child at this moment, but also his attitude to grief in adulthood. If adults pretend that nothing terrible has happened, then it is this behavior in this situation that the child will learn, and if the adults will be very intensely experienced on the contrary, the child may get scared and will behave this way in the future. Therefore, do not hesitate to tell your child about your experiences and show your grief, just do not focus on this child constantly. After all, life goes on, and we must take ourselves in hand and live on. Adults answer not only for themselves, but also for the happy life of their child.
