Tip 1: How to build relationships with your spouse
Tip 1: How to build relationships with your spouse
Even in the happiest and strongest marriage sometimesthere are conflicts and misunderstandings. Some of them may so alienate the spouses from each other that reconciliation will seem impossible. In this situation, much depends on the man.
Instructions
1
Try to communicate more. At first it can be very difficult, especially if the problems in relations have been observed for a long time. First, when you come home after work in the evening, be interested in how the day passed for your wife, be ready to listen. Do not be upset if at first it will not be talkative. After all, if before you did not show interest in such things, now it is unusual for her. If she will not be willing to share her feelings, do this by telling me about your day gone by.
2
Appreciate her. Observe what she does around the house, praise for it. Do not forget to thank for a delicious dinner, etc. Do not think that this is not necessary only because she does not thank you for working for the benefit of the family.
3
Be attentive to it. A woman often performs a lot of duties both at work and at home. She can feel unwell and experience emotional difficulties. Try to notice this. Instead of expressing indignation over the fact that she did not do something, try to do it for her. If you see that his wife is ill, let her rest, and do the work yourself. She can not remain indifferent to such participation.
4
Offer to discuss the problems. If this is not done, they will gradually accumulate and oppress. Agree that before you go to bed, you will respectfully and gently share how your feelings were affected during the day. But talk only about what is worthy of attention and do not focus on small things.
5
Express love with touches. Although women are important words, gentle expressions of feelings are also necessary. Embrace her, kiss her, touch her carefully, so she feels calm and confident. For some women this is so important that they do not find their place if the husband does not satisfy their need for touch.
6
Ask forgiveness for mistakes. Some men never apologize, because they consider it a humiliation. But if you admit that you were wrong, this will exalt you in the eyes of the wife, and from this her respect for you will only increase.
Tip 2: How to build a relationship with your mother-in-law
In primitive South American tribes, son-in-law after the wedding should avoid meeting with mother in law, it was forbidden to look at it and talk withher. It was believed that the warrior, seeing the mother of his wife, will lose power. But in the African tribes there was a more severe custom: if the mother-in-law visits the son-in-law's house, the man finds the right to kill her. In Gabon, it's the other way around: the groom must move to the house of his mother-in-law and in every way please her. To relations son-in-law with the second mother did not cause family quarrels and did not repeat the behavioral norms of some tribes, it is worth trying to establish contact.
Instructions
1
Understand and assimilate the fact that your mother-in-law is notchoose - you chose a wife. And you will have to enjoy not only the communication with your beloved wife, but also find a common language with her relatives, reconciling with all their advantages and disadvantages. Show friendliness, patience, generosity and restraint, join family traditions, respect the opinion and desires of your mother-in-law, no matter how they contradict your outlook on life and world perception.
2
Do not give advice and do not teach to live this adult woman with established life principles and concepts. Better once again let her know that you are trying to do everything for the happiness of her daughter.
3
Do not criticize and especially do not scold mother-in-law. Insults and non-constructive criticism will only set your spouse and her mother against you. Substantiated claims can be made by the mother-in-law in a personal conversation. And even here, think carefully - your discontent should not be built on naked emotions. Otherwise, your words can turn into a scandal and a secret resentment.
4
If between you all the same the match broke out,try to keep yourself in hand, do not be rude, do not offend and do not show disdain. Always remember, firstly, mother-in-law is a woman, secondly, she is much older than you. Be a gentleman in any situation.
5
Do not deny relatives in visits and do notneglect her invitations. Over the years, people become more sentimental: an older daughter, growing grandchildren - she most likely wants to make sure that everything is all right in your family. Once again, emphasize how you appreciate her attention and care for you and your children.
6
Do not forget to congratulate your second mom on the daybirth and other important holidays. Give good gifts, flowers and say compliments. She is first and foremost a woman, and she will be pleased with your attention.
Tip 3: How to build relationships with a former husband
Divorce should not become an excuse for endingcommunication with an ex-husband, especially if you have common children. Friendship with a former spouse is not only not forbidden, but can also be a great help for your new life.
Instructions
1
Recall the positive features of your formerspouse. Of course, right after the divorce there is no strong desire to remember the person who upset you or offended you. However, without this you will not be able to establish normal relations. Think about what you liked about your ex-husband more than you admired. It can be a delicious scrambled eggs or a virtuoso guitar playing, a sweet smile or songs under the shower. Adjust yourself to the fact that your ex-husband is not a monster, but a normal person.
2
Arrange a meeting with your ex-husband. Establish relations in absentia will not work even with a strong desire. Schedule a meeting in a park or cafe. Please note that the venue should be neutral, i.e. your apartment does not fit. This is necessary to ensure that both you and your ex-husband feel on an equal footing psychologically.
3
Discuss all questions interesting you. Talk about how you organize time for communication with children, how family holidays and the birthday of the child will be celebrated, as you will give gifts. Discuss the possibility of joint walks or trips outside the city. Remember that a child should not suffer because his parents did not agree with the characters. But to step over yourself, too, is not worth it. Your bad mood will not bring joy not only to you, but also to your child.
4
Customize yourself for what you wantrelations with her ex-husband. Tell him about your decision. Thank him for everything he gave you. Whatever your marriage, it has become an invaluable experience for you. In addition to quarrels and abuse, in your life there were also pleasant, heart-warming moments. Let your ex-husband understand that he remains a part of your life, just in a different context.
5
Keep in touch with each other. This does not mean that you must call up or meet every day. Just try to communicate on a friendly note, forgetting about all the misunderstandings and insults.
Tip 4: How to build relationships with your mother-in-law
After the wedding waltz has died down andHoney holiday ended, dramatic changes occurred in life. A wonderful and smiling woman, whom your spouse calls mother, from a friend suddenly turned into a grumpy and eternally unhappy meager. If you want peace in the family, you need to establish relationships with your mother-in-law.
Instructions
1
Live separately from your parents. Yes, the housing issue in Russia is still acute, and it is not always possible for a young family to acquire a cozy nest in the first years of marriage. But you can rent a house. Let the rented apartment will not be as cozy as the four-room mansions in the city center, like your mother-in-law's. But you do not have to share a place in the kitchen and listen to unnecessary advice every day.
2
Listen to everything your mother-in-law tells you. Do not break it in mid-sentence and do not say that you know yourself how you should live. After all, no one forces you to do as your mother-in-law indicated. The main thing is to listen carefully, but you can do as you see fit. And then, suddenly on the advice of your husband's mother there is also a rational grain.
3
Do not ask and do not ask for help from her husband's parents. Remember one important rule: your mother-in-law does not owe you anything. She does not have to sit every day with her grandchildren, give you money in debt or sell a dacha to buy a car for your husband. If you are ready to start a family, then you must be able to cope with everyday and monetary problems yourself.
4
Do not refuse to communicate with your mother-in-law, evenif you are mortally bored to listen for the fifteenth time in a row, what kind of harvest she collected at the dacha last year or how much her pension was raised. It is not necessary to come to visit every day, but on family holidays and sometimes on weekends try to get together. Her mother-in-law must see that her son looks good and is surrounded by caress and love.
5
Learn to perceive the actions of your mother-in-law withpatience and good humor. After all, the older parents become, the more attention they need. And the woman who gave birth and brought up your husband should be treated with care and understanding. And remember that it is not far off that day when you yourself will be called a mother-in-law. Would you like to have a sister-in-law like yourself?
